It's been awhile, but there is something i have to get off my chest.
I don't kno how i can say this directly to you, because im afraid of speaking my mind and losing a friend at the same time.

I'd firstly like to apologise for my own actions.
I, myself, am the biggest culprit of firing the line "you're gay" to jokingly(only) to insult someone, using it as a derogative term.
I'm extremely sorry if this has seemed as if i was attacking you.
But you should know that i never meant for these words to hurt you the way it has.
I have grown use to using these words, also around people who are homosexuals and bisexuals and have not received any negative comment back for saying those things. Yet i know that is no excuse for my actions.

I'm still not sure about what you meant by
"Congratulations! Because of you, I attempted on my life a second time three months ago! Good for you!" 
I hope that doesn't mean that you attempt to take your life again.
I know that there isn't many things i do to bring you back into our community, as you have voiced out that we were diminishing your mental health. But I hope this doesn't mean that the friendships that we have formed will go to waste. To be honest, i always pictured both, you and me, getting baptisted together, but so far this seems only a fantasy, but i hope one day you are able to be baptised, please do not use your sexuality as an excuse to lose faith in God (sorry if that seems like im attacking you, but im not, just would like to see you as that faithful person i kno you once were)


I secondly would like to say that you amaze me with your strength, that even though you hit rock bottom, you still have the spirit to get up and that's the spirit that has always made me look up to you.
I admire that you have spoken your own opinions so publicly. To be honest, although i know my sexuality quite well now, i once also struggled with confusion about it, but only because of the people who i had to spend my every day with.  


Lastly i would like to add in, that hopefully i haven't lost a friend, who has impacted my life. 
God Bless.


PS. It would be good if maybe i can hear a response from you privately?