You know the feeling when you're a kid...
u want to the world in your hands
and if you couldn't have it,
then we'd feel as if a massive hole was torn on the wall of our heart...
the only thing that could mend the hole is the one thing you wanted whatever it is.
Well, im my beliefs this feeling never dies.
human nature causes us to "want" weather it be physical, some sorta object held in your hand, some sorta item you can wear, some person that you want, or emotionally/mentally, like a sense of satisfactions from others, to try to gain some self worth...
No matter how hard i try, still....
i have this urge, no the habit, which ive kicked, thank god,
But this urge to feel to be part of a certain society or group if u want to name it.
I mean sometimes we know exactly how we fit into a group, through the history or connections.
But if you're someone like me, with no certain group to belong, its hard,
So many times friends come and go, whether i lose total connection to them or have them as a "minimal" friend to others who are so close, yet only its a one sided feeling.
Sometimes i want so hard to have actual "certain" people to feel the same in my life,
n all i get is this feeling,
once again the one word haunts me.
alone.
I think so much of my life is trying to make all the friends to make for what seems to be quite the empty life.
the feelings sucks.
right now i have 2 fears,
becoming old, being lonely.
Both seem to be inevitable.
fml.
