I don't know what to feel anymore..
In a normal day in the world of kenneth yin, so many emotions come and go.
yet all i can sum up about it all is incomplete.

from the relationships between my family, to the relationships between my friends, to the relationship i wish to have between rose and most of all the relationship between God….. all with me.

I mean sure it's easy to feel happy with what i have and often i do feel quite content on just this moment, where im hiding my mind from everything, which is my reality. But when i get back on the earth, i know, my relationships suck. Nothing really comes easy. Heck nothing really even comes hard!

They say everything worth having, comes at some sorta price. This price is ever rising. N for what do we pay the price for? maybe temporary happiness to feel the same later about the pathetic life that we live? Yeh i can say i haven't tried all that hard yet, but yet in my mind i feel as if, even if i tried half as hard as the people in my life have…. would it even matter? I mean they try so hard to have a title, a course, a direction, just so they can complain about almost everything that may have a slight bump in their road. Sometimes i just don't get whats the point. I mean sure we try to fulfil ourselves in the world matters, and personal matters, but in the end i feel nothing. If I'm suppose to feel this compassion, well i don't get it.
If i'm suppose to feel ANYTHING, then i don't get it.

It's so easy for me to put on a mask, because my whole life i've been doing so. But when i take off the mask, its so different, because, theirs no-one there. It's like those glasses, that when you put them on, you see the world in a different perspective, but when you take them off everything is "normal". Well for me my mask is my "happiness", where my "lief" exists, but when i take it off, its an emptiness, THIS, how can i explain it more. Its "LIFE"……. i wish that it was more simpler, more adaptable but it's not. I'm trapped either way. When i take it off, I'm in the dark alone, well at least that i know of, as you can't see much in the dark. But when i leave it on, i know that this life i live is fake. Theres nothing real about a kid who only knows how to live a life that doesn't exist for him. I sometimes wonder. And thats all i can ever do wonder.