i mean yeh occasionally, i can get a foothold onto reality but in the end i always trip n try, try,try,try,try,try,try,try,try get back up but, sometimes that push isnt there wen u need it to be, other times wen u dont seem need it is there.

another scar upon my heart, means another relationship ova, but doesnt mean anything if we cant be friends rite? she is treating better than i deserve.

but as one hole closes, another one opens this time for some1 i really dont deserve.

even thought this is the big problem, it isnt the one thats bothering me the most.

i thought that rose, would be cool with the fact that id slipped away from suiju. but she thinks she has the authority is tear me down, cos she cant take the fact, that something she encouraged n something that she "built up" was destroyed n somehow now im getting all these attacks, it hurts it does, but somehow i cant tell any1.

FUCK HER.

to those who r still celebrating during this festive seasons, we will always remeber those who are close to them. a time of friends n relatives, n time to realise who n what "family" means to u.

friends by my own definition are those who are there to be acknowledge your existence, but often they forget about it.

relatives by my own definition are those who are blood related to you, but often neglect the fact you are related to them.

family by my own definition are those who aren't necessarily blood related to you, but those who value your existence in their life.

i have all three, but somewhat my "friends" are x999999999999 of what my "family" is.

they say you can choose your friends, but u cant choose your family... which is understated.

by my definition that saying is half wrong, but yet right.

these vacations are for family..... but what do we know abt family?

fact is our family is something, unexplainable, the only earthly way to say it is, family brings us up, loves us no matter what, n will encourage us to leave our mark, where ever it may b.

seasons greetings.

porjectwings has been on hiatus for a while, but its back into action.

so much has happened since the last post. hsc, schoolies, rents n other things as well.

lets say life is a roller coaster, the only thing is they dont tell u the full story.

christmas is almost upon us. the seasons changing the turn over to a new year is almost here soon.

i wanna change. well nxt yr anyways.

lately ive been thinkin abt my position in, lets call it "my world", where every1 is in there on section, n where am i? my section, population of 1, my shadow. years n years of accumalation of friends knowing that ill be seeing my friends maybe the nxt day at skool or mayb ill bump into them at towers, is no longer factual or able to apply to me.

IM ONE FUCKING LONELY KID.

its funny cos my friends think i have all these great friends, which i do dont get me wrong but where can i go wen i need some1? i stay in my little shit hole, while every1 else just stays in their little comfort zone, where they feel safe cos they can be their own fake versions of the illusions of wat they want to represent themselves as.

i kno my little rants mean nothing to u guys, but really this really bites.

my best friends rite now are: a little plastic frog coin collector, a blue yoshi, a totoro on LSD, a sumo who moves wen sunlight is preset, n a wierd as devil thing who has a signature as a face, all some wat great listeners who are silenting laughin while im away, cos im tellin them all my problems. fuk this srsly. i miss sherleen. i wish she would talk to me.

FUCK ME.

xoxo gossip girl! <------- the best whore ever xD