A friend wrote to me, these words which i hold close to my heart.
"to love someone is to give them the power to hurt you.. but trusting them not to."
n i believe its tru~ thats y i trust u! i trust 'her'! n of course my biggest love- my lord, my saviour, my GOD! I trust him with all my heart! he has taught me to trust, he will teach me to not trust, but in the end, it will take time to see why!, bt i kno i will trust in him, ! n thats the reason i love!
i srsly hate xanga soooo much..... man... afta playin around with all the thingos where do i put in my html?! anyways i suck at this stuff.... ima stick to this for now...
but even fixin this up was crazy!!!!!!!!! i dunno wat happened but like i wanted to change the blogs name. n then it died on me! had to restart again!!!!! FAR OUT!!
but all is good n the blow name is now more awesome!!!!
im thinkin of makin a new banner.... could be just the thing i need to give my blog another facelift... plus work on the new interface! ONE DAY THIS PAGE IS GONNA BE REAL AWESOME JUST WATCH ME! =]Y
I was lookin ova old pictures im i saw old pictures of me n her....n my heart sank another level......... n i really wish y cant it be just like how it wen we were YOUNG
like this...............
then an angels voice... though small n soft... in harmonic tune, faintly sings, n takes the pain away. n then she brings me to my paradise~
ahhh tiring week past, as another starts..... a week of sports, cloudy, rainy, windy weather, relationships, puzzles of MY OWN relationships, whether formed, disbanded or still in the mist. its been a really wierd weekend.
thursday i got in touch of my old sport, BASEBALL..... man I SUCK!!! far out 6 yrs of training n wat do i got to show? 2 strikeouts.... farout. man i suppose theres other sports.....
anyways then satuday was another day of full bumming around the house.... didnt do much just stayed home n WAS suppose to study but u kno me PROCASTINATION!!~~
then sunday, n a good service was ended with a better ending, with the annoucement of ELON HAS A GIRLFRIEND!!!!! xD
sooo proud of him, n all the attention given to him in bamboodle sure turned her away from us.....lol we r soo embrassing!
ANYWAYS training, then indoor, where our team were all ova the opponent, with another beautiful strike by Aviel, but unluky for us i let in a goal, n ended as a draw 1 all.
afta a trip to maccas n bak to amandas place to watch X-MEN!!!! n some of the monaco grand prix. =]
shld be at skool but really cbf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n now contemplatin if i shld go to skool for basketball training this arvo.....
FAR CRYING OUT LOUD! how long does it take a company to contact me abt my unfortunate position that they already ran out of seats in a particular section for 1 concert?! 1 BLOODY MONTH!!!!!!! omg.... srsly.... i mean if they contacted me earlier i wouldnt mind! but now they r sold out n i can only get either really expensive tickets or i can get the crappy tickets.... no fair.................. T____T
it has been a very tiring weekend.... Relay for life, church + soccer + first day of skool n some very bad news. too eventful for one weekend!
FIRSTLY! BIG SHOUT OUT TO DAN MY MAN! WHOS BIRTHDAY WAS YESTERDAY! happy bday hope u had a good one! sry i couldnt be there to join u! but ill make it up!
relay for life was on saturday nite. it was a very fun yet tiring day. I thought abt wat would i do if i was in that situation, that some1 close to me had cancer.. i dont think i would be able to cope. n my heart goes out to all those who have cancer, any illness or any1 who knos some1 close to them who does! i suppose, there is HOPE. I guess the real question is do u have HOPE?!
it started off a really windy day. n started with basketball at 2 with conrad, a shoot out comp, to be smashed by C-rad... n then a slow quite walk to the showground alrdy got me puffin... it was a cold nite, nadine, sherleen,eddy and malinda were the first ppl i saw there, n while they were with there friends i walked a few laps by myself, then all the rest of the boys came footy was the first agenda! turn out for relay this yr was a dissappointment, since it was all the hype last few years. but neither the less we made it enjoyable in our own way! especially nadine! with the kings dude. But as the end drew closer a frosty game of touch in place for our boys vs tuckers boys. N to call it a perfect evening, some of us met at maccas!!! to see a wierd sight!
the scene wen i got there
then it was sunday! an early morning! 5am!!!!!!! farout to get bak to the oval to do more laps for a great cause + exercise! =] den a lazy walk to church. rite afta was the soccer match!!! most of the team were dead including me.... as many of them had another match b4 this one! it was against Jookfook. HCA had an early lead with an excellent header from Heeman, a textbook finish! n rite afta a beautifully struck shot from Alan, brought us 2 up. then some miscommunications from defenders (including me.....=.=") let the next goal in. Then another slip up early in the second half brought us down another notch. But that didnt let us get in the way of tryin to play a great game. In the end a level scoreboard, meant a curse (neva beaten Jookfook only drew or lost) would not be broken this time, but overall a result that i couldnt be happier wif, since it wasnt a game we deserved to win. Then from some skillful driving from Jervis i was able to make it to the nest game as it started on the whistle. in less than 5 secs, 2 goals were taken beautifully by Aviel. (more than i scored last season, in 5 secs......T.T) anyways but then as we lost momentem we lost the game 5-2. but Weel done by all the boys. mayb the finals nxt season!
ended with a good dinner at parra den bak to katie's house so i could learn some guitar n watch funny youtube clips. =] but in the end a l8 nite meant a very dead morning this morning. =[
My mum is planning to sell the house. It's great she tells us only after her mind is made up. Wat abt toby?! or Mocha n Chino?! they'll die..... could she really do it to them?!
anyways doesnt really matter to me. just means ill be moving to an apartment somewhere.... while dad is planning his move to china... i guess my family is actually Falling apart. Rite now i kno HSC shld be more top priority.... but really i srsly cant be fucked. i wanna ask my mum.... wat is it abt myFinalyears of some sort of education does she love screwin up for me?! my world is Crashing..... piece by piece Torn apart. But i kno, this is only temporary.. he has a plan! n i believe he will save me from my miseries. It's slowly just reshaping, i mean i cant always been on a high... i guess with being on high, comes being on lows. i want things to be "NORMAL"..... but is there really such a thing?!
o wells. i wannastopa bad habit. 5 friends... 1 problem, me. wat did i do?! i created false hope between them all. im really sry. I didnt mean it. today is my last day of interferring!
Had wierd thoughts this morning.....after yesterday. no dreams, just thoughts! I was talkin a close friend tonite..... n i came to realise that in reality.... im no good.... srsly! im just not a girl shld hav as a bf! n wat really is botherin me is that i hav sooo much potential to break all of them! n bring them wat they dont deserve! i wanna just want to be able to be that guy can do everything i can for her... but in reality.. all im capable is SHATTERING! them.... sooooo my pledge for every one of them is... i wont get you to that stage, ever! i promise.
Ever wonder why the sunset is considered to be one of the most spectacular natural scenes in our world? imagine sitting on a hill with that one u loved, on a picnic rug, her tight in ur arms, as ur watch a pink mellow set into the horizon, from an orange sky... filled with clouds the patterns of silk. that is my dream... just imagine.
anyways thats my lil imagination of wat reality shld be! i had a wierd dream this morning, i was just running away from all of society n ppl i knew.... with a girl, who it is i wont say.... but it some1 who i never really thought would be a good relationship wif... but! we were i suppose running away from all those who opposed us.... n in the end, im bak to reality that iget dumped hurt by her.... n then i wake.... i was thinkin abt this all day. am i seeking for this relationship? i remeber a close friend once said to me, wats so good abt a relationship.. as now i really can tell u the answer... theres is nothing i treasure more along side with friendship, than a relationship. n as i always will strive for the person jst soo i can hold someone, i can treasure her n treasure wat would be a glimpse of paradise!
i guess it would be naive of me to think this way, but i really dont care how it seems, i just want to be with her. i guess i want that perfect sunset, n to hav that i need that perfect person. n theres my answer in my criteria.
im tired of it..... all the verbal abuse of wat people keep thinkin abt ppl..... really?! y don't they jst GROW up?!
i used to think i was tolerant of people, but really i dont think i can tolerate it anymore?! but i kno its not worth it... fighting for this reason of jst peoples opinion isnt worth it... yeh they're entitled to it, yeh they can say wat ever they like, at any1's expense but wen it hurts some1's feeling u'd reckon they jst grow some sense n keep it shut.
anyways.... mum's taken my sim card again! for wat a numba im payin for myself, a numba that i got myself! n she's jst gonna march into my room n take it without reason, without any remorse. i sick of it. im tired of havin to be this kid who is gonna be pushed arnd like always! n quite frankly i give up. i dont care anymore, only a few months of it left! until then ill jst live it up.
OMG, srsly i shldnt be wakin up at 8.30 on sunday!!!! jst for sunday skool. It wasnt as strict as i thought it was be, but then again, Hannah was teaching. More food then any other lesson ive had b4. But it was intriguing. Mayb i mite make an appearance nxt week. =]
im in sooooo much pain as of rite now, never play soccer, 2 matches in a row n then go to some1's place until 12.... its a recipe for a painful morning. Bt yesterday was good. the message of treasurin our mum's not only on mother's day, but everyday... really hit home to me. We do take for granted wat the do for us. wat they endure just for our pleasure. n even though they do so much more us, they hardly even utter a word of complaint, but rather edge us on to do more with our lives. god bless our mum's! Anyways yesterday... was such a heated match between HCA n PEFCA... emotions were flaring up n thank god that nothing srs had happened... but it was a good match. first half was the half i rkn we were doing our best with communication n jst teamwork, n jst slowly faded away from that in the second half. but it was good! an amazing shot, by Heeman, from a free kick from outside the box gave us a very early lead. N then a picture perfect set piece from a cross, was met with Alan's head to come across the face of the oppositions goalie, n make it in on the farside. giving us a very good 2-nil lead b4 half time. Then jst b4 the whistle of halftym... a slide tackle onto me left me limping... n really i didnt see that necessry.... o well. Second half, the sun had left our presence n we were to play in a cloudy, gray atmosphere. We were playing more defensive n a hard decision was given to the ref, whether to give a free kik to the opposition from a handbox that was more in than outside the box. But a very well struck penalty, was close to being saved by our flying goalie, Ranen, but made the score 2-1, n then i got to my position, my wing. several opportunites were given upon me. but Hopeless to say that i wasted most of them n instead got my face sat on. n thenfrom another mistake, my lack of communication created a mix up between me n another team m8 lead to the leveler. but end of the day it was a good match! =] no major injuries, no disrespect. then indoor came, our team had the lowest numbers of players ive ever seen for bhcac. only 5 players. but we were able to get 1 goal in by vinh from a very lite tap, n a slip up from the oppositions goalie, gave us the lucky break. N then a disallowed goal from the opposition, because the player was allowed to score. unlucky benny boy =P Never the less communication was at an all time high, composition was comin together great n opportunities were flying from every direction. an almost perfect game from the boys, special shoutout for Vinh, since he played both indoor n outdoor. he must of been hella tired! but well done boys. even the boys from the other team.
so yesterday's scores were:
outdoor: HCA 2 : 2 PEFCA ( sorry abt the 2nd goal.... that was my fault.....)
indoor: BHCAC 1 : 0 Fake Madrid
then a nite at katie's was interestin as the ps2 gave the boys some entertainment, especially from Gran torismo 4 n Need for speed carbon. n then mahjong was the reason for the girls! which eventually lead to Amanda eating dog food =P, at least eating part of it....( as most of it came flyin out of her mouth) ending at 12. a very good day!
i srsly wonder how ppl do it..... 6am wake up, 5am, are they super human?!
It was cold, n dark.... a perfect set up for a very nice sleep in. i wasted abt 3minutes of my sleep on contemplating if i shld skip english. to only be yelled at by dad to go to skool. Legs were gone! srsly... my legs were jst on hiatus. striking to walk another day. But wanna kno wats more stupid? to play more sports at skool. n afta skool... n in the process take a high speed basketball take me in the face.... i think i was seeing angels for a bit...
anyways...im sore n now awake from a good 3hr nap =]
i guess its jst anotha saturday.... slow.... full of sunshine!! jst a great recipe for a waste of a perfect day. it started typically at 11..... n woke up to plans to finish household chores... bt really procastination kiked in like usual.... n nothing got done.... even till now at 10.02, rooms still dirty n i realise MY CLOTHES R STILL OUTSIDE!!!! ahhhh man wats happening to me?!
anyways.... i jst realised im suppose to be @ solly's place holdin a party... but i was too chicken to ask my dad to go out tonite....
anyways mum's home... n things arent that bad!!! anyways.... check out this necklace its pretty awesome!!
tomorow is my first sunday class that im going to attend actually sorta nervous, also reluctant to go.. since the word "skool" is in it!! anyways im outta here! i noticed something tonite... im not very social on saturday nites..
hehe its been a long long week! n tonite was good way to finish off the week day!!! anyways! humility!!! being humble!!! all i can say is that u don't really realise that just doing such small things can make ur life sooo much easier.... i suppose that its better to have prevent something bad from happening than to do respond to it wen it happens rite?! i suppose its to say we shldnt boast.... jst makes others feel bad.... n keep urself far from, in ju's term "up urself". he is sovereign.... =]
You don't ever realise the talent out there, until you see it for your own eyes! This is my m8, Jono, he is gonna be the nxt big thing! hope he doesnt forget us the little ppl!
this has been a long time comin.... i said i would make a blog of some sort, but to find out this world of blog was jst over welming... if thats how u spell it....
it started with xanga... didnt quite work.... n so afta abt 1 yr or so it was time to try the original blogspot....!
